The Journey of Motherhood

Hey everyone! I’m so sorry it’s been so long, but motherhood is getting the best of me haha. My last post was the day before I delivered my sweet babes. This post comes to you exactly one week before they make four months. Four months! Where did the time go?! Let me start this post from December 10, 2015. 

I was instructed to be at the hospital at 9 am for a scheduled 12pm c-section.  

 I got there at 9am, but my miracle babies didn’t make it into the world until after 1pm. Cooper Reed arrived weighing 6lbs 14oz, 20 inches long at 1:10pm. Addison Mae arrived weighing 5lbs 5oz, 18 inches long at 1:11pm. Delivery went well, and both babies entered the world screaming 😊 It’s a sound I had longed to hear all my life.  

 We spent three days in the hospital so I could somewhat recoup from the surgery. The twins only spent one night in the normal newborn nursery so that I could try to catch up on sleep. No time in the NICU! Can you believe that?! We left as a family of four.  

 I wanted so bad to be able to breastfeed and produced for about a month but then suddenly stopped. My dreams had been crushed, but I pushed through knowing that it wasn’t the end of the world. My babies wouldn’t starve, and that’s all that mattered. 

Cooper was born with a little dimple above his butt which the doctors explained to us could be indicative of spina bifida. Wow! Now my heart really hurts. What did I do wrong while pregnant? Why is this happening to my little boy? I was scared to say the least. My little guy had X-rays and ultrasounds of his spine and spinal cord, and he came back all clear. One less worry for this new mama. The first month was tough. Was not only a new mom but a new mom to two. I learned really quickly how to use both hands and both feet when I needed haha. 

Our first Christmas was a success. We didn’t do much; stayed home and let the family come visit us here.  

 Then my sweet babies made a month old. Already! I’m not liking this at all!  

 I never knew it was possible to survive on only an hour or two of sleep per day, but it is! We made it to a month, and I knew I could keep pushing on. They each smiled for the first time at 5 weeks old, and their smiles get bigger and brighter everyday. 

My babes made it two months, and it was time for mommy to go back to work. Not because I wanted to, trust me. But when you have two new babies to take care of, money is a necessity.  

 Two month shots came and went. They handled it way better than I did! I cried for at least half an hour before and ten minutes after. It’s so cruel. It seems with technology, they would have figured out a more peaceful way to give those things haha. Then we had to start daycare. Another day I dreaded from the time I found out I was pregnant. I hated to leave my babies in the hands of anyone else, especially people I didn’t know. But that day came and went, too. And I cried that day also. I’m getting ready-eyed just thinking about it again. Ugh. But they’ve survived so far so I shouldn’t complain. Other than the fact that with daycare comes illness as well. They’ve been sick since they started 😒 and Mommy can’t do anything to make them better which breaks my heart so bad. 

Three months old, and they are starting to laugh and coo, and roll from back to side. They are growing faster than I had hoped.  

 They each have their own personalities. Addison is a little diva who needs all the attention (much like her mama), and Cooper is a laid back little dude (just like his daddy). I swear I don’t think I would’ve survived had they both had dispositions like Addison Mae 😳 

This all brings us to present day. Cooper is weighing about 13 lbs 8oz and is 25 and 1/4 inches long. Addison is weighing about 11 lbs 6oz and is 22 inches long. Her brother has outweighed her by two pounds since shortly after birth. It’s weird because they feel equally as heavy hahaha. My biceps are getting toned, I can tell ya that much πŸ˜‰ They usually go to sleep around 7:30 or 8:00pm and only wake once for a bottle around 1-2am. That was until recently when they’ve started to feel really cruddy. We are usually up every four hours lately. (This too shall pass.) They will see the ENT on Wednesday as my poor little girl has an ear infection, and my handsome little guy has terrible allergies to something. They also both have really bad reflux and will more than likely have to be seen by a Gastroenterologist. 

They love their mama, that’s for sure! Their faces light up and they both smile so big when they hear my voice and see my face. It makes me feel like I’m doing something right. I can’t forget about daddy in this post either. He has been pretty amazing. From helping me on and off toilets right after birth, to listening to me complain about everything up to this day. (It’s just that no one does it quite like mama lol). They love their daddy, too. He seems to always be able to make them laugh when they’re grumpy ☺️ 

It’s coming up on a year that I’ve had the retrieval. I never thought I’d be where I am today, one year ago. God has blessed us beyond measure. Yes, it’s extremely difficult at times, and there are times when I cry because it’s all still so overwhelming. But God brought me this far, and I know He won’t let me fail. We serve an awesome God. And if you ever doubt that, just look at my beautiful, sweet, miracle babies  

    You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knitted me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Everyday of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. ~ Psalm 139:13-16

  

36 Weeks

Can you believe we made it?! Nine long months of happy times, scary times, times when I felt like giving up. Now we are on our way to a new journey.

Tomorrow at this time, Christopher and I will be parents…to two tiny humans we never thought we’d see. I am scheduled for a routine c-section at noon. We will finally get to hold sweet Cooper and Addison in our arms staring into their eyes. I am a little jealous of Christopher as he will get to hold them before me 😜 We cannot wait to feel the love of these miracle babies. 
All of our hospital bags are packed (for the most part). I’m pretty sure I’m bringing way more than I actually need, but it’s better to be safe than sorry right πŸ˜‰ 
You have all been through this journey with us from day one, so I can’t lie to you. I have tons of fears, and being a nurse hasn’t helped to put my mind at ease either. The epidural scares me; what if it paralyzes me. The thought of that giant incision across my belly is frightening; what if I end up with a blood clot? The fact that I have to lie flat on my back during the c-section makes me nauseous; I already have a hard time breathing while sitting up. The babies will be four weeks early; what if they have to spend time in the NICU? My blood levels have been a little low; what if I need a blood transfusion? What if I’m not able to breastfeed? I will feel like a failure. 
With all of these fears, I’m asking that you all continue to pray for us. The power of prayer is the only thing that has gotten us this far. My best friend’s mom has prayed with us since day one of this adventure, and she will be at the hospital tomorrow morning to pray with us again. I know God is with us.
I can’t wait to be able to share pictures of The Baham Twins with all of you! 
For now, I’ll leave you with my final milestone picture. What I won’t do is tell you how much weight I gained through this whole process πŸ˜‰   
 Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. ~ John 16:21

34 Weeks

Well guys, today we had our first weekly appointment during the home stretch. I’ve been feeling pretty miserable lately and extremely exhausted. I guess it all comes with the territory. 

We were hoping we would get to see the babies today and know how much they weigh, but the tech was out so we didn’t get to peak at them. The doctor said their heartbeats were really strong. He said that my cervix is still completely closed which means babies are completely safe. We talked about vaccinations and steroid injections. It was an informative visit. 

Because Addison was breech on the last visit, he said that he would feel more comfortable scheduling me for a c-section as not to risk her safety and health. We were officially scheduled for a section on December 10th 😁 We will be 36 weeks 1 day at that point. So how do I feel about all of it? 

I’m scared; no joke. I keep trying to process things in my head. What if they have to spend time in the NICU? Should I wait until 37 weeks? I know I’m being a little selfish by pushing it up a week, but I can barely function at this point. Walking is hard; sleeping is impossible; work is exhausting. But will they be okay? Will I be able to take care of them once they’re home? There are so many emotions and questions going through my head right now. 

We go back Monday for our 35 week checkup where we will have an ultrasound to measure and weigh them and to see if Addison has flipped or not. 16 days left guys! 16! This is still unreal. 

I will ask that you all keep praying for us. Pray for safe delivery and super healthy babies. Pray for Christopher, as I can’t imagine what’s going through his head and heart right now. Pray for our moms and families to have the extra strength that they need to give to us. Just pray. I ask that you just pray. 

  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

32 Weeks

We are 8 months pregnant, guys! EIGHT months! How crazy is this?! It’s actually very hard for me to believe that we’ve made it this far, but let’s talk about it all. 

The Baham Twins are about 19 inches long now. They are compare to a head a lettuce this week 😜 

They are practicing skills they will need outside of the womb, such as: swallowing, breathing, kicking, and sucking. 

Their adrenal glands are producing cortisol which stimulates their lungs to produce surfactant. Surfactant is the protein that is essential for lung development. 

The lanugo is still steadily shedding. We had a 3D ultrasound a couple of weeks ago which showed that Cooper has the “horseshoe” hair line on his head. Unfortunately, it showed that Addison is bald 😳 Our poor, sweet girl. 

We had an ultrasound Monday which revealed that Cooper is now vertex (head down), but that Addison is now transverse (butt down). Cooper is still taking up all of the room, which unfortunately doesn’t leave much room for Addison. She kicks and punches me all day and all night trying to find a comfortable position. 

  Cooper weighed in at 4 pounds even. His heart rate was in the 150’s. As you can see from the picture, he’s already practicing his kissing skills πŸ˜™

  Addison weighed in at 4 pounds even, as well. Her heart rate was in the 120’s because, for once, she was finally sleeping. The object in front of her face is her knee because she has no room to stretch out. Thanks, Coop! 

  And this is my baby “bump”. It’s more like a mountain! It’s 42 inches around and as hard as a boulder. I really am not sure I have anymore room to stretch! The doctor is hoping that I make it to at least 35 weeks. He did say, though, that if I make it to 37 weeks, he will go ahead and induce or schedule a section (depending on if Addie flips over). To think that we may be parents in three short weeks is amazingly terrifying. I don’t if I’m ready haha. Contractions are still present, just not very frequent. There is not one position I can find that is comfortable. The babies bounce on my bladder at all times of the day causing me to pee anywhere from every thirty minutes to every hour. I’ll just call it getting practice for the late night feedings and diaper changes πŸ˜‰
Christopher seems to be very excited. He just keeps saying that he is ready for them to be here. He rubs my belly all the time and talks to the babies. He likes to scare Cooper with loud noises haha. He has, somehow, been able to put up with my mood swings, sporadic crying, and increased weight gain. I’m telling you guys, he’s quite the catch, and I’m glad he’s mine 😍 

Here is the call for the patience of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus ~ Revelation 14:12

Scariest Day of Our Lives

Hi everyone. I just wanted to keep you all updated on the latest with myself and the twins. Yesterday started out as any other normal day, but quickly changed into the scariest day of my life.

I woke up at 6am, just like every other day, for work. I noticed that I was having an increase in contractions and severe pain in my pelvic region. I thought it was because I was just stiff from the night so I tried not to pay attention to it. I made it to work, but not for long.

I started to have contractions that were 5 minutes apart. I spoke to a fellow nurse while at work, and she suggested I go to the ER. I called the doctor’s office to explain the situation to them, and they suggested the same thing.

As soon as I made it to the ER, I was immediately brought to Labor and Delivery where they connected me to monitors and IV’s. My contractions were actually only 2 minutes apart, not 5. I had an exam done which showed that the cervix was still completely closed. The nurses spoke with my OB who ordered a medication to be given in my arm that was to help stop the contractions. The first dose went well but did not stop the contractions so the nurse was instructed to give me a second dose. About a minute after the second dose, I started to feel abnormal. I was hot and sweaty. My body was tingly. I got really nauseous, and felt like I was going to pass out. I remember thinking “Anna, you cannot die. You have to see your babies grow up. You can’t leave Christopher to be a single parent. Your mom and family need you.” The last thing I remember is the nurse telling me to take deep breaths.

I’m not sure how long I was unconscious, but when I finally came to, I was in a room filled with what felt like half of the hospital staff. There were ICU nurses, Labor and Delivery nurses, doctors, X-ray Techs, and the Rapid Repose Team. During the incident, my blood pressure dropped to 50/20, my heart rate was in the 40’s, and my oxygen measurements were in the upper 70’s/lower 80’s. I woke up to Ephedrine being pushed through my IV, 12 liters of oxygen on my face, and a ton of IV fluids being infused at a rapid rate.

The only thing I was worried about was the health of the babies, of course. The nurses and doctors were amazed that through the entire incident, the babies were not effected. They all told me that the babies’ heart rates never wavered and that they were strong. God was on our side!

After I was stabilized, the doctor released me to come home. He suggested a different medication to help stop the contractions but told me that the medication was the same class of drug that caused the reaction. Collectively, we decided to hold off on that until further notice.

We are 29 weeks along today and have been placed on bed rest until the twins make their arrival. I have a follow up appointment with my OB on Monday in which we will discuss in further detail the options I have. He is confident that we will make it to 35 weeks, though. With that being said, it looks like Cooper and Addison will be here in a short six weeks! Eeeeeekkkkk! It’s exciting yet terrifying at the same time.

I know that you have all been praying for us since the beginning of our journey, but I will ask that you continue those prayers. Not only for me and the twins, but also for Christopher, our moms, and our families. This has been scary for all of us.

Now I know that the LORD saves His anointed; He will answer him from His holy heaven with the saving strength of His right hand. ~Psalm 20:6

28 weeks

Hi guys! Can you all believe that today the Baham Twins are 28 weeks along?! I’ve made it to the third and final trimester! It feels like it’s taken forever to get here, yet still seems like just yesterday we were told we were pregnant. The human mind and body are amazing things. 

At 28 weeks, our babies are now blinking, sucking, practicing taking deep breaths, coughing, and hiccuping. Trust me when I say that I can feel those hiccups everyday πŸ˜‰ Cooper tends to have them more often than Addison does; at least three times a day. They say that it doesn’t bother them, but I beg to differ. After a couple of minutes of the repeated motions, I can then feel them start to squirm and wiggle as if saying “Mommy, make it stop!” 

They have also started the REM Phase, or rapid eye movement. That means they they are probably dreaming! Amazing, right?! 

At our appointment on Monday, Cooper’s heart rate was 140, and he was weighing in at an astounding 2 pounds 11 ounces! The best news we receive about our precious boy is that he is now positioned head down! Hopefully that will mean no c-section for mom πŸ˜„ Addison’s heart rate was 130, and she was weighing in at a whopping 2 pounds 9 ounces. The doctor couldn’t believe how big they are already. 

As for me, he told me that I am measuring at about 34 weeks despite only being 28 and is not expecting me to make it past 34 weeks. That’s only six weeks away, guys! Am I ready for that?! I have started to have braxton hicks contractions which tend to catch me off guard sometimes. The doctor says they are normal, and unfortunately they will not be going away anytime soon.😁 I see bed rest coming in my near future as I am finding it more and more difficult to walk and get into and out of bed and my car. Christopher has to assist me with getting dressed and undressed most of the time; not real sure how he feels about that πŸ˜‰ I have a tremendous amount of pressure and sometimes pain in my pubic area. I pray every night for relief and for the tiny humans to stay in their mommy’s belly for at least another six weeks. 

My baby shower is planned for Saturday. I bought a beautiful dress to wear only to find out that the top is too big, and the belly is too small 😁 The struggle is definitely real. Luckily, I have a coworker who is going to unstitch, stretch, shrink, and restitch it for me hahaha. 
We truly appreciate all the love and continued support we get from all of you. We truly can’t wait for you to meet our sweet, little miracles! 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~ Isaiah 41:10

24 Weeks, Maternity Pictures, and Vacation

Hi guys! We’ve made it to 24 weeks or, to make it sound longer, 6 months πŸ˜‰ The journey of new developments continues. 

We had our six month appointment Monday with the OB, and all went pretty well. He says I’m still measuring about month to a month and a half ahead of schedule. We talked c-section versus vaginal delivery, and he said it’s still a little too early to tell. But here’s the info on the Baham Twins:

 Mr. Cooper is measuring 24 weeks 3 days and weighs in at a whopping 1 pound 7 ounces. His heart rate is ranging in the 150’s. We did find out that he is breech, meaning his feet are pointed down instead of his head. We were assured that this will cause no problems while in the womb, but is making my chances of having a c-section greater than what we wanted. The way that I feel about it is: as long as it presents no dangers to the babies, I’m good with it. He still has time to flip, though, so say a prayer for our little man. 

 Miss Addison is also measuring 24 weeks 3 days and weighs in at an astounding 1 pound 9 ounces. Her heart rate is ranging in the 140’s. She is being a little more cooperative and is head down 😜 

Their brains are steadily maturing, and they now have memories 😍 I sure hope they remember how much they’ve been loved once they make their grand arrival. 

They have all of their hair now: eyelashes, eyebrows, and on their heads. If we could see it right now, it would be snow white as there is no pigmentation yet. There has been talk about who will look like whom, what color hair each will have, and which family they will resemble haha. I know they’ll be beautiful no matter what, though. 

Yesterday, we took maternity pictures while I can still sit, kneel, and stand (that gets harder everyday!)😊  Here are a couple of my favorites  

   There are way more to come, but our photographer gave us a little peek at what’s to come, and we love them so far! 
We left this morning for a little relaxing vacation since there probably won’t be another one for a couple of years hahaha. We’re gonna put our toes in water and butts in the sand for a few days. 

Our next appointment is on September 28th, so I’ll try to keep you all updated on the status of Coop. Until next time, please continue to pray for all four of us for the strength to make it through the rest of this journey. 

I will leave you all with the prayer that I feel fits the best right now:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change to the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the path to peace.